Time will turn and tell.

I just caught myself staring at the numerous bunches of flowers I have in vases around my living room. While I was staring at those vases, for some odd reason, I began thinking about how much I have changed in the last 10 years.

When I was 18, I was so far removed from who I would eventually become that I didn't even know what kind of flowers I preferred. Back then, Gerber daisies were really popular, so they were selected as my favorite - just like that.

What's funny is that I don't even like them now. I couldn't have told you back then why I liked them, other than saying they were bright, or bold. Of course, that is a valid reason for liking a flower, I suppose, but is it really a good reason for liking it above all the rest?

I don't know if it is or not ... all I know is that these days I prefer a regular daisy, or even a bright carnation over just about any other flowers out there. Lilies are beautiful, and I do like them quite a bit - but they seem to shrivel really quickly and their petals droop from almost the first day they open.

The same with Gerber daisies. The flowers are too heavy for the stems, which makes them hang and die a lot more quickly than I would like. Then there is the problem of the falling petals that go everywhere and make a huge mess.

You don't really see that problem with regular daisies, or with carnations. Both last a long time, both come in a beautiful array of colors, and both are beautiful in their simplicity.

For the life of me, I can't figure out why most girls dislike carnations so much. Is it because they are inexpensive? I, personally, like that about them. I almost always have them in my house, along with some flower who's name I do not know - Jamaican something-or-another, I think - and plain, white daisies.

I know this all seems very bizarre, me talking about flowers and how they represent a very definitive and significant way that I have changed in the last 10 years. Really, it's more about development of a solid sense of self. I didn't have many reasons for who and what I liked when I was 18. I do now.

I guess that makes me a more complete person than I was back then. I might not be as wide-eyed and idyllic as I once was, but I think I am probably much more of a real person now. I sometimes miss that innocence that comes with blind faith -- then I remember all of the reasons that now make me believe.

I am not blind in life, in love, in faith -- and I don't think I would ever change any of it -- even if I could.